Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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