We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
