Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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