I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
