Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
