I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
