jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
