there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
