ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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