Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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