I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
