I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
