It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
