I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
