Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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