You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
