Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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