So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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