Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
