i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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