hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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