It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
