No, you can still breathe under the balls.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize
