Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
