honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
