you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
