Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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