It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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