I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
