Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
