Don't you send me to vm
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Randomize
