1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
