Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
