you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
