Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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