how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
