This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
