She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
