Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
