It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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