The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
