In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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