He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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