Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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