you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
