god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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