If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
