I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
