I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
