someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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