Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
