I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
