Plan B is the new Plan A
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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